Dear Me: What I Wish I Knew When I Was Diagnosed With PCOS

Hey, you.

I know you’re scared right now. You just walked out of the doctor’s office with a diagnosis that feels heavy, complicated, and full of uncertainty. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS, is a name you’d never heard before today, and now it’s something you’ll carry with you forever. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed—this letter is here to help you breathe, feel seen, and understand that you’re not alone.

First, let’s get this straight: PCOS does not define you. It’s a piece of your health puzzle, not the entire picture of who you are. You’re going to have moments where it feels all-encompassing, but you’ll learn to navigate it. You’ll find solutions, balance, and most importantly, you’re going to find yourself. 

Here are a few things I wish I could tell myself if I were to do it all over again.

You’re not broken.

It might feel like your body is betraying you. PCOS is a complex condition that’s tied to how your body processes hormones, insulin, and more. It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for what’s happening. You didn’t cause this, and with time, you’ll learn how to work with your body instead of feeling at war with it.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

You’re going to hear a lot of advice: cut carbs, exercise more, go keto, eat less, move more, follow that program. It will feel overwhelming at times, and some things might not work for you—and that’s okay. PCOS symptoms live on a spectrum, and everyone’s experience is different. Your journey will be about figuring out what works best for you, not anyone else.

It’s okay to ask for help.

Managing PCOS can feel isolating, especially when you see your friends living carefree while you’re reading ingredient labels or trying to balance your hormones. Some of my best advice includes finding a support system. Whether it’s an online community, a supportive friend, or a healthcare provider who listens to you- don’t do this alone. You deserve to be heard, validated, and supported in this journey. 

Blood sugar balance is likely at the root.

You’re going to learn a lot about insulin resistance, even if your doctor didn’t mention it today. Understanding how your body responds to food will be one of the biggest keys to managing your symptoms. But don’t worry, you don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. Start with small, sustainable changes: pair your carbs with protein, prioritize fiber in the form of fruits, veggies and legumes, and find what foods make you feel energized instead of exhausted.

You’re allowed to grieve.

It’s okay to mourn the “easy” relationship with your body you thought you’d have. PCOS might change your path, but it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a life of struggle. It’s just a different journey-and yes, there will be hard days, but there will also be victories that make you feel strong and empowered. For many, PCOS is an opportunity to tune into your body’s innate needs and one day, you may even feel thankful for the lessons PCOS has taught you. But don’t worry if you don’t feel that way today. 

Self-compassion is a game-changer.

There will be days when you feel like you’re failing. Maybe your skin breaks out, your weight fluctuates, or your energy crashes. Instead of beating yourself up, try to meet yourself with kindness. Treat yourself like you would a best friend. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Compassion for yourself is a crucial part of your healing. 

Celebrate small wins.

You’ll realize that progress doesn’t come in huge leaps, but in small, consistent steps. Maybe it’s a day where your mood feels steady, or your hair feels stronger, or you have more energy after a meal. Those moments are worth celebrating. They’re proof that you’re moving forward, even if it’s slow.

Don’t forget to live your life.

PCOS is going to demand attention, but it doesn’t have to consume you. You can still eat birthday cake, go out with friends, and enjoy life. Finding balance will take time, but remember: you’re more than your diagnosis. Don’t let it rob you of the joy you deserve.

Looking back, I can see how much you’ll grow through this. You’ll learn resilience, patience, and how to advocate for yourself. You’ll become the expert on your own body. And one day, you’ll look back and realize how strong you are for facing this head-on.

So take a deep breath. You’ve got this. PCOS is part of your story, but it’s not the whole book. And trust me, the chapters ahead are going to be filled with so much more than you can imagine.

With love,
Your Future Self